Giving the silent treatment, frustrations, and an unspoken tension lingering in the air… Sometimes, problems in relationships with a man or a woman can accumulate so much that it's unclear what to start with. How to understand whether it's worth separating, and should you? Then you can ask yourself, "Are these relationships worth saving?"
When your relationship reaches a deadlock, it's worth reconsidering whether to keep it.
There are several factors that can help analyze your family problems. Start with honest answers to these questions.
Is your partner willing to work on the relationship together with you?
Starting the process of unpacking accumulated baggage of problems, make sure your partner is equally interested in participating in this process.
A relationship is a dialogue, not a monologue, so the process of discussing it should be mutual.
For example, if you are troubled by issues in your relationship with a husband, and he doesn't even acknowledge their existence, starting a dialogue will be challenging. It's important to feel heard in the relationship and sense that your partner is willing to meet you halfway. Recognizing the presence of problems and openly discussing them is already the first step toward change.
Do you love your partner? Is it important for you to have them in your life?
Understand your motivation to stay in this relationship. It should be based on feelings of mutual value because otherwise, a question like "How to live with someone you don't love?" will inevitably arise. If a woman doesn't love her husband, it diminishes her motivation to stay together.
Try not to be guided by negative feelings: fear of the unknown or anxiety about being alone, grief over parting with a past life associated with the partner.
Admit to yourself the real value of your partner: are you happy with this person? Do you want them in your life? Is your life better with them than without them?
For example, even if you are going through a temporary crisis due to relationship issues with your husband, it can be resolved if your choices are made from the perspective of mutual values and love.
Experts working with Relationships issues:
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Do you share values and views on life?
Common views on life are the foundation that will help in working on relationships. Similar values and priorities make the process easier: no one will have to compromise their principles. Even in a relationship, you can remain honest with yourself.
Do you see this partner next to you in the future?
A small imagination exercise can help with this. Close your eyes. Imagine yourself in 5, then 10, and then 15 years. Who are you, what are you doing, what have you achieved? Now imagine your partner beside you. Does he fit into the picture you envisioned? Does he help you on your path, or does he hinder you? If he becomes part of your family, do you regret your decision?
Visualizing the future together with your partner will give you the answer to whether it's worth fixing your relationship.
Long-term perspective is the light at the end of the tunnel that helps understand that the relationships are "worth it." Make sure you see this light of a shared future with your partner.
I do want this relationship. What's next?
Accept that you'll have to work on yourself
While relationships involve two people, it's also about working on oneself. Prepare to take responsibility for your words and actions and negotiate with yourself. If you have problems in your relationship with a guy or a girl, accept that you cannot control or force them to change as you want. But you can always influence yourself and your reactions to your partner. For example, it's not about changing a man's attitude towards a woman but about changing yourself and becoming a better partner.
Work on a relationship starts with work on yourself.
Don't give up
Remember that you are not alone in your experiences. Conflicts can be beneficial if they draw your attention to important aspects of relationships with yourself and others. Try not to perceive them as punishment but as an opportunity to identify a problem and deal with it. Building relationships is not as complex as it is an exciting journey with plenty of opportunities for personal growth.
Define the nature of your problems
The more specific — the better. Identify your pain points in the relationship. Here are some options: issues in sexual relations between a man and a woman; unhealthy dependence of one partner on the other; distancing from each other and a chill developing in the relationship.
If you find it particularly challenging to understand what exactly is bothering you, try reaching out to a psychotherapist. Psychological practices can help you quickly identify your problems. Fill out a questionnaire to find a match with your therapist and start working on them right now.
If you find it particularly challenging to understand what exactly is bothering you, try reaching out to a psychotherapist. Psychological practices can help you quickly identify your problems. Fill out a questionnaire to find a match with your therapist and start working on them right now.
